Thursday, August 7, 2008

Kill the negative by cultivating the positive

by KParthasarathi 07 Aug 2008
. It is a common trait in all of us to get defeated when things go wrong. It is rarely we come across persons who can smile in such circumstances. But a person who can smile and remain cool and collected when he faces adversity is generally a winner. He is not cowed down when things go wrong but finds ways to overcome the hurdles. But most people spread misery when they fail making others also miserable. I had a colleague in my younger days. We were required to pass a departmental examination to be eligible for futher promotion. This guy failed twice and was always crying that his juniors had overtaken him without any real attempt on his part to improve his performance. Initially people sympathised with him but started avoiding him when he spread gloom around. He finally made the grade after two more attempts but had to wait for his elevation for want of a vacancy. Instead of rejoicing at his success in the examination, he started whining that he was not promoted. He got that too after a few months which should have normally made him happy. It did not lighten his heart. But instead he radiated his misery telling that his juniors have gone above him and that his further promotions would be delayed. There are some like this man born to be miserable in whatever circumstances they are placed. While it is one’s prerogative to be happy or sad, no one has the right to make others unhappy with his sob stories.
In fact some have vicarious pleasure in being miserable like my another acquaintance who would constantly talk about his health problems , his ailments, his test reports, his visits to various specialists and hospitals that you would instantly feel getting the smell of chloroform when he is around. His constant refrain on diseases and medicines made him morose and gloomy inviting further ailments. Friends avoided him whenever possible. Even when participating in joyous games like cricket there are players who pull long faces when they fail to make big scores or take wickets. They get depressed and worry about the next selection leading to fits of blues and further failures. They should take heart that even a Tendulkar doesn’t score centuries in all matches and only in about thirty percent of matches he scores fifty or above. These purveyors of misery become victims of their moods and as a result often to fail to succeed. This is prevalent in every section of human activity. The society also detests the company of such persons as in the case of an elderly relative known to me. When everyone in the house opts for a pizza dinner, he would insist on his rice and sambar.When others want to watch the finals of French Open, he would demand to see his favourite serial. When everyone wants to go on a picnic he will feign indisposition and want someone to stay back. He was always complaining unhappy with weather, about neighbours and about everything around him. He would be unaware of his negative approach. In contrast there was his wife who was a diabetic and of delicate health but endowed with boundless enthusiasm and optimsm.Whenever she was present in the room with her radiant and smiling face ,her cheerful spirit caught on others like a contagion bringing laughter and mirth all around. We have never heard her complaining and always brushed aside questions about her health. The lady would adjust herself to any situation as the company demanded putting her personal preferences in the backburner.
I have read in a book The Secrets by Rhonda Byrne that thoughts are like magnets attracting things like themselves. If you think of failure or poverty or ailment, such thoughts would only bring them. If your thoughts are negative and filled with fear of failure, they will smother your efforts and neutralise all your work making success a remote possibility. The mind prepares you on the basis of what you think. One must develop the habit of thinking positively with full faith instead of being assailed by doubts and uncertainties. The mind then prepares for success. Banish thoughts of what you fear. If you wish to be rich, do not think of poverty. If you wish to succeed in examination in flying colours, do not harbour uncertainty in your mind. Go to the examination with optimism. Repeatedly affirm what you want be it health, wealth or happiness.
The story of Dasari Pradeep Kumar, an Andhra boy, born in cobbler’s family in indigent circumstances making to IIT by sheer perseverance and hard work is a lesson that unfavourable circumstances can be overcome with a positive outlook and hard work.Naga Naresh Karutura who joined Google after his IIT is another case of adversity overcome by determination. What is so special about IIT boy joining Google, one may ask? So many do, no doubt. But Naresh is special. His parents are illiterate. He has no legs and moves around in his powered wheel chair. Many would have been defeated by such cruel misfortune and reconciled to a humdrum life. Not this young man who is ever smiling and optimistic.
The secret behind the success of many such people however black the outlook is that they refused to accept anything unfavourable to them as their lot but worked their way up with a positive frame of mind.”The craving for something higher and better is the best possible antidote or remedy for the lower tendencies which one wishes to get rid of.” The motto should be “kill the negative by cultivating the positive.”