Her dad, a strong-willed man, had peculiar notions about men’s superiority over women. He always ordered her mom, even when requests would have been more appropriate. Her mom willingly subjected herself to his taunts and abuse. Her dad and Sita were having tea together.
Sita asked, “Dad, I have a question. “
He said, “Shoot your question,” sipping his tea.
“Do you believe men are entitled to treat their wives as chattel? Can
they order them about as if they are paid slaves? Can they assume that wives
have no say in all household matters and only husbands have the right to
decide?” asked Sita.
Tell me, Sita, what is on the back of your mind? What prompted you to
ask this question?” he asked.
“Nothing in particular. It is just to know your views, she replied.
He slowly said in a measured tone, “I strongly believe that women will
have to be kept under a tight leash. Give them an inch, and they will take a
mile. As an earning member who keeps the hearth burning, the husband has the
right to see that things are done as per his wishes. He may have to be
occasionally strict if necessary to maintain discipline and compliance with his
wishes. Men give them food, clothing, shelter and children for the work they
do. What else do they need?”
Aghast though, Sita was not surprised at his boorish attitude, knowing
well how he had been treating her mom all these years. She hated him for a while
for his rude response and brashness, but kept quiet, unaware of how to react.
He asked her, “I am not convinced that you asked this question
casually. Tell me what impelled you to ask?” Sita could not control her tears
when she thought of her poor mom and started sobbing.
“Sita, pray tell me without crying what is troubling you.”
“You married me to Hari, telling me he came from a cultured family of
decent people. Life has been hell for me from day one of marriage. Not a day
passed without his insulting and beating me often in the presence of his
parents and siblings. Even when I am sick, no one comes to help me in the kitchen.
No one asks me whether I am alright. He neither trusts me nor gives me money
even for buying vegetables. I am not allowed to express any opinion, even on
matters concerning my children. I do not want to live there anymore. I am
willing to work and take care of my kids. I do not want to stay in a place
where I am not respected or treated equally with dignity,” a sobbing Sita gave
vent to her suffering.
He lost his arrogant demeanour, and his eyes became misty.” Why didn’t
you tell me all these years? I would have taught that brat a lesson or two.”
“How could I when you are yourself no better than Hari? What kind of
support could I expect to get from you? Sita asked
Her dad broke down. “I have been a fool all along. I will change myself
from today. This is a promise, Sita. Let us go now to Hari’s place and talk to
him before deciding our next step. I cannot forgive a man for treating his wife
so miserably.”
The doorbell rang just then. Dad rushed to open. There were the beaming
Hari and the children in all smiles, with a complaint, “Nana, Mom refused to
come with us to Disneyland, telling us she had to be with you. She will do only what she wishes. She missed a lot
of fun today.” With a foolish grin, my dad looked askance at Sita.
“Extremely sorry, my dad, for making up this story. Hari is a doting
husband and, like the genii in Aladdin’s lamp, is ever ready to carry out my
smallest wishes,” proudly said Sita, even as she added, "Do remember you have made a promise."
Good one. 👍
ReplyDeleteChitra
Smooth change of regime!
ReplyDeleteJagadeesan
Rama Sampath Kumar : Strange that even today inequalities still need addressing, highlighting the need for greater inclusion. "It's a man's world" - reflecting historical patriarchal structures where societies were built around male perspectives, leading to systemic inequalities.
ReplyDeleteHistorically, men were seen as providers and leaders (hunters, soldiers, policymakers), while women managed the home, reinforcing male authority. This probably led to traditional gender roles.
Women's increased education and participation in the workforce challenge traditional male dominance. These days for sure efforts to dismantle sexism and bias are making environments more equitable. But in spite of shifting dynamics, the truth is that the world still seems to be designed for men. As the story depicts - a loved one enduring "brutality," is necessary for men to fully grasp the reality and harm of this system.
Lovely piece ! A subject close to my heart!
A thoughtful and impactful story that highlights gender inequality with sensitivity and a clever twist. Sita’s conversation with her father is very powerful, and the ending works beautifully, leaving a strong message about self-reflection and change without being preachy.
ReplyDeleteA good one. A clever ruse of Sita hopefully brings better days for her mom. Typically, in older times it had to be "Men in Charge", any kind of freedom for the lady was taken negatively. Times have changed but in my view, it should be shared responsibility with both being accountable. KRUPA L
ReplyDeleteGlad the dad realised his mistake but sad that it affected him when it’s his daughter but he didn’t realise his wrong attitude towards his wife until then. Today’s woman who is financially independent can make a choice at least.
ReplyDeleteIn our home we decide our responsibilities. She decides smaller things. Which house to buy. What car to buy. Where to go on vacation. I decide on bigger issues. How to solve Russia vs Ukraine problem. What to do with USA vs Venezuela. And things like that.
ReplyDeleteExcellent way to put forward one's thought. Nice learning. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteNot a surprising turn of events. That's how parents behave; that's how daughter's behave.
ReplyDeleteParents refuse to adapt to the new generation; they are stick to their old-fashioned way of patriarchy; as if everything is okay if a man does but it is not okay if a woman does it. A discrimination based purely on gender, and not anything else.
The hypocritical oldies are okay to harass their wives but suddenly find the harassment of their daughters by their husbands intolerable!
I hate to the core the phrase "married off". No one is "married off" to anyone. To adults get married to each other.
I request the elders who are reading this to abstain from using the phrase "married off", when it comes to the matrimony of their daughters.
Felt happy reading this positive story! It is still there in MOST of the households...husband is always, well, mostly the deciding authority. Very rarely the wife's opinion is given importance. The only difference which is visible is the wife also is earning well and contributes to the house expenses. Good story, KP....Sandhya
ReplyDeleteAn eminently likeable plot developed very intelligently and progressively towards the culmination! The reader ultimately realises that Sita clearly knew about her hardcore male chauvinist father's weak spots and how to use those perfectly to change his orientation for the better.
ReplyDeleteA brilliant 'Trojan Horse' of a story that uses a daughter’s staged vulnerability to dismantle a father’s lifelong prejudice.
ReplyDeleteJanardhan N
Breaking down barriers and empowering women in a male-dominated society is a crucial step towards achieving true gender equality. Probably the author of the story, through Sita over a cup of tea, gently reminded her adamant father of the promise he made, and hopefully took the first step toward changing his behavior.
ReplyDeleteCould guess that Sita had come to teach him a lesson over a cup of tea. A man is a husband till he has a daughter who also suffers at the hands of a husband like him! Sometimes they realise it on their own and sometimes, a daughter like Sita is needed to make them see the errors of their ways! -- Thangam
ReplyDeleteEarlier men as head of family used to treat women/ their wives in a strict way. Gone are those days. Now it is the reverse way.
ReplyDelete