Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Are you popular?

I often wonder why some people are more popular and sought after than others in any gathering. It is not always they are attractive or of a high social standing. They could be plain looking and of ordinary circumstance. But yet have magnetic charm. I remember in my school days how everyone would swarm around Mohan in the play ground. He was an average cricketer but a team man. He was always found in the playing eleven though better players were left out. Teachers preferred him for a class monitor. It was the same when he joined after several years the same workplace that I did. I found his popularity undiminished in the different surroundings too and was the central figure in any official or social event. His likeable nature, I found out, was the natural outcome of several good traits in him that others lacked.
He had a memory for names of all from the boys who served tea to the top officials. Inability to remember names indicated lack of interest in others. He made it a point to catch the name correctly after the first introduction and always addressed friends warmly by their first name.
Mohan was also a comfortable person to get along with and never gave the impression of a know-all. He was a patient listener interjecting only to stimulate the conversation. Never egoistical, he knew his limitations. When he had to leave in the midst of a conversation, he would wait for the appropriate pause and take leave pleasantly. He had the capacity to be witty and interesting in his conversations. He was conversant on all subjects of common interest be they cricket, tennis, politics, music, cinema, fashion and stock market. As a result people liked to be near him and learn something. He was never a fake pretending to know what he did not. He never misled others. He was polite to all and spoke pleasantly and truthfully. He never hurt others with critical comments. He knew that a drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall.
We know some people are not likeable and repel by their abrasive nature, inflated ego or wicked nature. But Mohan practiced liking people even with their warts until they genuinely started liking him and shed their negative traits. I found that he looked for some good points to praise them and avoided looking with critical eyes. When you practice believing in people and show you believe them, in most cases the trust reposed kindled corresponding trust in us.
He had also this canny ability to remember important dates in the life of his close friends and to congratulate them appropriately. He was also the first to rush to the hospital when his friend’s dad or mom or any relative were in need of blood or any physical help. He was ever a helpful and caring mate.
On many occasions when in a group, I have seen someone out of jealousy hurling an insult at him. Mohan would remain unruffled and explained in smiling tone how the other guy was wrong. While he won over the trust of those who accused him, he went up in the estimation of others watching his relaxed way of countering blame.
I have found in any group someone comes along with smelly shirts, unkempt and disheveled hair, dirty shoes and unshaven stubble causing an embarrassment. Mohan though he never sported flashy or costly dress was always clean and neatly dressed. There was nothing slovenly about him. Some of us miss the point that to be presentable is showing respect to others.
In sum one can see none of the qualities are difficult to follow with some effort and training. Sadly we miss to see the virtue in these without realizing life could be far more enchanting if only we talk, act and think in terms of others interest and welfare instead of being self centred.Needless to say, Mohan reached the top of the organization

No comments:

Post a Comment