by KParthasarathi Wednesday, March 26, 2008
http://content.msn.co.in/Contribute/Lifestyle/UCStory6200.htm
Divorce is common today as the women are empowered with education and employment. They have the financial independence and the courage. Lacking these earlier they had to put up with all indignities at the hands of their husbands. They suffered in silence for the sake of children, security and societal pressure. The concept of single parent was frowned upon then.
The women are now aware that they need not put up with alcoholic husbands and their violence, adulterous spouses or drug addicts or those who are in prison for long for crimes or those with incurable diseases. Where there is no scope for correction, the women have realized that it is best to end the farcical relationship if they can stand on their own legs. The marriages are terminated even under financial hardship where warranted. Divorces are common amongst educated classes. The poor continue to suffer as staying single in slums without the security of a husband is risky.
People from higher classes seek divorce even for slender reasons like incompatibility. The mere dissatisfaction and inability to love and live together is found adequate to part ways. In such cases there should be mutual willingness to part amicably.
The problem arises only when there are children and one party is unwilling necessitating legal recourse. Though divorces bring relief to the harassed spouse in the short term, their impact on the children is considerable especially when the woman is not financially well off. How much of balancing of the conflicting interests of children’s well being with the agony of the woman continuing in an unworkable marriage needs to be done varies from case to case. The couple should seek an answer whether children’s interests are best served in a two-parent family and if so work for restoring the breaking relationship. Largely it is men who are at fault though he may not initiate divorce. He would wish to keep the marriage going and continue with his wayward ways.
While divorce is necessary as a last resort, it should not be employed after the initial thrill of wedded life begins to wane or for minor differences of opinion. The couple should bestow deep thought about the sanctity of the marriage and the commitment that go with it especially when they have children. Generally one of the spouses disowns responsibility towards the children losing the bond with them.
Sadly a permissive culture that has crept in and the easy opportunities to mingle closely away from the home at odd working hours makes young people succumb to carnal temptations ruining in the process the edifice of marriages. If such secret liaisons are kept under a wrap, things go well. Invariably they come out in the open sooner or later. Unfortunately, entering into marriage is no longer considered by a few as a serious and committed partnership but somewhat like a live in relationship under the garb of marriage to gain respectability. Such thinking is a negation of all that is holy in family relationship
All said and done, easy access to divorce provides security for wronged women. To make things harder for obtaining a divorce would bind the women to abusive marriages. While the interest of children in marriages is to be kept in mind, it is a fact that children in highly abusive atmosphere are affected more than the children in single families where care is bestowed. There can be a conflict of interests between what is good for wife and what is for children. But the scale should strongly tilt in favour of the woman as she would not sacrifice the welfare of her children. In sum the divorce laws should be made easy for women and tough on men.
Kpartha12@hotmail.com
http://content.msn.co.in/Contribute/Lifestyle/UCStory6200.htm
Divorce is common today as the women are empowered with education and employment. They have the financial independence and the courage. Lacking these earlier they had to put up with all indignities at the hands of their husbands. They suffered in silence for the sake of children, security and societal pressure. The concept of single parent was frowned upon then.
The women are now aware that they need not put up with alcoholic husbands and their violence, adulterous spouses or drug addicts or those who are in prison for long for crimes or those with incurable diseases. Where there is no scope for correction, the women have realized that it is best to end the farcical relationship if they can stand on their own legs. The marriages are terminated even under financial hardship where warranted. Divorces are common amongst educated classes. The poor continue to suffer as staying single in slums without the security of a husband is risky.
People from higher classes seek divorce even for slender reasons like incompatibility. The mere dissatisfaction and inability to love and live together is found adequate to part ways. In such cases there should be mutual willingness to part amicably.
The problem arises only when there are children and one party is unwilling necessitating legal recourse. Though divorces bring relief to the harassed spouse in the short term, their impact on the children is considerable especially when the woman is not financially well off. How much of balancing of the conflicting interests of children’s well being with the agony of the woman continuing in an unworkable marriage needs to be done varies from case to case. The couple should seek an answer whether children’s interests are best served in a two-parent family and if so work for restoring the breaking relationship. Largely it is men who are at fault though he may not initiate divorce. He would wish to keep the marriage going and continue with his wayward ways.
While divorce is necessary as a last resort, it should not be employed after the initial thrill of wedded life begins to wane or for minor differences of opinion. The couple should bestow deep thought about the sanctity of the marriage and the commitment that go with it especially when they have children. Generally one of the spouses disowns responsibility towards the children losing the bond with them.
Sadly a permissive culture that has crept in and the easy opportunities to mingle closely away from the home at odd working hours makes young people succumb to carnal temptations ruining in the process the edifice of marriages. If such secret liaisons are kept under a wrap, things go well. Invariably they come out in the open sooner or later. Unfortunately, entering into marriage is no longer considered by a few as a serious and committed partnership but somewhat like a live in relationship under the garb of marriage to gain respectability. Such thinking is a negation of all that is holy in family relationship
All said and done, easy access to divorce provides security for wronged women. To make things harder for obtaining a divorce would bind the women to abusive marriages. While the interest of children in marriages is to be kept in mind, it is a fact that children in highly abusive atmosphere are affected more than the children in single families where care is bestowed. There can be a conflict of interests between what is good for wife and what is for children. But the scale should strongly tilt in favour of the woman as she would not sacrifice the welfare of her children. In sum the divorce laws should be made easy for women and tough on men.
Kpartha12@hotmail.com
Dear Mr KP
ReplyDeleteHere you have try to stress the difficulties women face, your heading should say make divorce easy for poor women rather for only women. It is the women who forces divorce specially urban women if she earns more than the husband earns,
i am also one of the victim of women who is empowered and employed. She tried all the means to be independent by just having husband for name sake to show to society.
why should a guy lead the life of LABEL. in this case dont you think the Guy also has to get divorce easily. you are only baised towards women.
divorce laws should be fair. what is needed in India is a proper uniform civil code, without which women from backward minority groups will continue to suffer even more than the the other women.
ReplyDeletewomen themselves should believe they have equal human rights or they will tolerate all abuse.
best wishes.
very good post.