My husband Kumar hated meaningless spending on festival days like
Diwali on clothes, jewellery, sweets, fireworks and varied gifts to near and
dear. He felt they had no religious sanction and each family tried to outdo
others in getting bigger and costlier things. While he did not belittle the
religious part of the festival, he was against aping others in this mindless
spending spree. But he never imposed his opinion on me or other members of the
family. He used to gently point out that the vast majority are suffering
without basic requirements and that such lavish spending by the fortunate few
is socially unacceptable and insensitive
He rarely accompanied me to shops on such occasions. I used to get him
each year something- be it, new suit lengths, good shirts, costly tie pins,
branded shoes and even gold chains. He was a gentleman who could not hurt
others and when he accepted them with a small smile, I could guess what passed
in his mind as a sheer waste of money to demonstrate one’s love for the
other. Still, I could not allow such festive occasions to go by without a gift
from me even though I was aware that they never impressed him.
Last year I did something different, something after his heart for
Diwali. Kumar is not very rich though he earned enough to make us live
comfortably. Yet he set apart a portion of his income for philanthropy no
matter if there were pressing needs elsewhere. He donated money to
hospitals for treatment of the poor, to schools for scholarships to needy
students and in kind like blankets and sweaters for poor homes. He never
mentioned this to others, not even to me on many occasions.
The idea came to me when I accompanied my friend Vasumati to a
destitute home for girls run by private efforts with great difficulty. What started
as a noble cause floundered when the promised money from different sources was
not forthcoming. Vasumati along with a few friends tried to keep it running.
They were after persons who could afford to donate to the cause. She wanted to
involve me too in this cause of seeking liberal contributions.
It was a pathetic sight to see
young girls of varied ages from two to sixteen dressed in tatters. The clothes
were not even adequate to cover themselves with dignity. Some of them did not
have spare sets to wear. They were walking barefoot. They frequently stayed
away from the school for want of a clean dress. The home found it difficult
even to provide two square meals. Often, they had to make do with conjee
for the nights. There were about forty inmates then.
I was so moved by their
condition that I instantly wrote out a cheque for Rs.25000 from my account in
favour of the home for the purchase of two sets of dresses for Diwali. I
kept the receipt carefully. That Diwali I kept the purchases to a bare
minimum and skipped the gifts to friends and relatives.
I put the receipt in a brightly coloured envelope addressed to my
husband with the inscription ‘With best wishes for a Happy Diwali”. On
the day before Diwali when the family members assembled to see the purchases,
they were a little shocked at the poor spread. No silks, no Kanjivarams, and
no jewellery, they found just one set of daily wear clothes for each from Khadi
Gramodyog.To the surprised husband who could not believe what he saw, I thrust
the envelope into his hand.
With everyone curious to know
the contents, Kumar broke into the biggest smile when he saw the receipt. He
said this was the best gift that he had ever received from me. His happiness was
infectious and soon we were all excited to celebrate the festival in our new,
more meaningful way.
