In search of happiness

I will burden you with one more of my old piece.I assure you this is not a sad story but talks of happiness. I will come up with new stories in a couple of days.

When I dropped in one afternoon, I saw my cousin happily reclined in a sofa before a wide TV with one arm around his wife and enjoying a serial. He had a nice flat and a lucrative job with his charming wife also earning as much. They looked a perfect picture of contentment and happiness. After the initial pleasantries, I asked him the hal of everything on his side. His wife had gone inside to make some tea. He pulled a long face and said that he wished God had been kind to him. It was five years since he was married and his wife wanted a baby very much. This set me thinking happiness is not in good earnings or an attractive wife or in owning a posh house or enjoying the comforts of life. It is something more. It varied from individual to individual.
I asked our maid servant one day when she was crying what would make her happy and free from all worries. I was expecting her to tell a big increase in her salary, a one roomed tenement with toilet inside and with an exclusive water tap or some such mundane things. Instead she said she would be happiest if her husband returned from work without taking alcohol and talked to her affectionately instead of the daily beatings from the inebriated man.
My elderly neighbour, a kindly and timid soul was being tortured mentally by a shrew and termagant for wife. She broke his confidence and made him a diffident blundering nervous wreck. The irony is he held high official position before retirement and was regarded well in his circle. He was one day confiding that he would be happiest if the God were to give him deliverance from her by taking him.
What is happiness? Will ten crore rupees give one permanent joy? Are material comforts to be equated to happiness? Possibly none of these. Is the quest for happiness always successful? Happiness is just an emotion like anger, sorrow or depression. It keeps changing from time to time. A small child is happy with a new toy for a few minutes. It soon gets tired of it, throws away and starts crying. Adults too are no different. Happiness is like a mirage always within your sight but never realized permanently.
Happiness again is not related to the character of the individuals. We see wicked men seemingly happy and good men passing though pangs of pain and suffering. I have no explanation for this strange fact except trusting in the law of karma.
Spiritual people talk of divine happiness that realized souls enjoy. I have no experience of it. I think instead of looking for happiness, we should look for contentment. It does not mean we should not attempt to improve our lives. While making an honest endeavour, we should learn to be content with what we have and not aspire for a distant rainbow only to lose the present peace of mind. Real happiness would appear as being satisfied with the results of our efforts without craving for more. It is a state of mind to be cultivated where one would be thankful to the god for his blessings and accepting the difficulties with equanimity wherever it is not possible to remove them. Otherwise how would you explain the restlessness of the very rich to acquire more and the contentment writ large on the face of a cobbler under a shaded tree? Happiness is not elsewhere. It is in your mind.
A sage found a man on hands and knees. He asked him what he was searching for. The man said he was searching for his keys. So the sage too got on his knees to search. After a while the sage asked whether he was sure he lost it there. The man replied that he lost it at home. When asked why he was searching there, he replied he was searching because there was more light there. The lesson in this story is for us to search for happiness where we lost it.

Discreet silence

My mind is blank.I am posting an old story written long back.Please bear with me

Ravi and I working in the same office are close to each other sharing even our personal matters.. His rich dad had died some years back. His old mother was living with him. Unfortunately Ravi’s wife Anita had not taken kindly to the old woman. Coming from a rich family herself, she was a much pampered lady lacking in finer sensibilities with a harsh tongue. So long as the old man was alive, things were going on without coming to surface. There were no children to lighten the atmosphere. Things became gradually worse till it became intolerable. Ravi on return from office saw his mother crying almost daily but never had any word of complaint against Anita. Knowing the latter’s abrasive nature, he knew what must have happened. His words of advice had little effect. Ravi being timid in nature, she was domineering. It was about three years ago he discussed the matter with me and we decided that for the peace of the old lady, it was best to admit her in a well to do senior citizen’s home which had all the facilities. When he broached the subject to his mom, she did not mind the verbal torture but desired to be with him. Ravi persuaded her saying that he could not bear to see the indignities heaped on her and that she better go to the home and that he would be meeting her frequently.
Ravi went initially often but this tapered off to monthly visits partly due to pressure in office and mostly due to the taunts of Anita. The change had affected the old lady mentally. She became morose and aloof. Calls would come from the home asking him to come and meet his mom. He went sometimes taking time off during office hours but this also became less. But he ensured that his mom got all the physical comforts. There was a phone call one day informing that the old lady slipped and fell down in the bath room. She had broken her back and was unfit for any surgery due to advanced age. Some complications had set in with her kidneys failing. Her eye sight had also diminished abruptly. She became weak and emaciated in the course of a month. Nursing attendants at the home took care of her 24x7.She was all the time muttering “Ravi, Ravi…” I had gone one day with Ravi. It was a pathetic sight seeing the old lady cringe” Ravi, please take me home from this prison and let me be with you in my last days. Please do not refuse. I would myself plead with Anita” Ravi’s eyes became misty with tears trickling down. He said” Mom, Do not worry. Let me talk to her. I will come tomorrow.” He tried in vain knowing fully there was no chance of Anita relenting. He did not have the face to meet his mom. He did not go. The tricky wife compelled him to take her on a holiday to Darjeeling despite the ailing lady. When he was away a call came from the hospital informing that the lady’s condition had turned serious. I informed Ravi and rushed to her side.
I held the lady’s arm. Her eyes were closed. There was a deathly pallor about her. She was too weak even to open her eyes. She said”Ravi, I am glad you have come. I want to breathe my last holding your hand. I have caused a lot of anguish for you.”
I was perplexed about what I should do. The nurse who knew me indicated that I should not reveal my identity. She signaled that she was in her last moments.
I replied “Mom, do not strain yourself. You will be ok.Just rest and I am here by your side”
Ravi, were you not allright? You said you will come the next day when we met last”
“Mom, I had to go out of India on tour suddenly. I could not refuse. I am here and will not leave you. Please sleep as I keep holding your hand”
“I know you are very affectionate to me. “ She kept quiet thereafter and peace descended on her face. I did not stir from the chair and stayed on by her side. I must have fallen asleep in that position till I was woken up by the nurse telling “Sir, it is all over. She passed away a few minutes back. It is very nice of you to have provided the love and warmth she was yearning for. Thanks a lot for your discreet silence.”
Wiping the tears from my eyes, I moved towards the phone booth to inform Ravi.

Paying back in same coin

Rani was just twenty when her alcoholic father gave her in marriage to a forty five year old ugly looking pock marked Velayudham for the few thousands he received. She had no mother to look up to. All her cries and the pleas of neighbours fell on deaf ears as he forced her to marry that widower. He took her away to his place and guarded her from all eyes. He never allowed her to go out and ordered her to remain within the house.. He even locked the house when he went out. He was suspicious if she talked to anyone and would want to know what she talked about. Being an older man, he had nagging doubts about his physical ability to please a much younger wife and he got irritated whenever she showed amorous tendencies to him. He avoided her. Lacking in self confidence, he beat her frequently and used abusive epithets.
There was one young man Murugan living not far from Rani’s house. He was living with his mother and they knew the cruel and suspicious nature of Velayudham.They empathized with her as they knew her pitiable condition. His mother used to visit Rani whenever Velayudham was not there and console her. The talks with the old lady were soothing balm to the neglected young girl. It so happened that one day when Murugan could not find his mother at home, he came in search of her to Rani’s house. As he was enquiring her about the whereabouts of his mother, Velayudham came unexpectedly .Seeing his wife talking to the young man, he flew into rage, abused Murugan of having dishonest intentions and pushed her inside the house. He beat her legs with a log of wood telling that he would break them so that she cannot run away. The poor girl was rescued by neighbours but she had to limp thereafter. She hated him from the bottom of the heart but could not escape from him as she had none to look to. She was afraid he will catch her and inflict more injury on her.
It so happened that Velayudham fell sick with high fever and some other related conditions. There was nothing he could do as Rani had to go out to fetch medicines, grocery etc.When she went to get the medicines from the pharmacy, the thoughts of how her life had been rendered a failure and how her dreams of being married to a handsome young man had been crushed by her husband came to her mind. The total incompatibility in the way they thought, and dissatisfaction in meeting her physical needs and above all living like a prisoner within four walls stood stark in her face. Her revulsion for him was at its highest. When she returned home she found the pharmacy had given her wrong medicines intended for somebody else. Bitter with him in her heart, she decided to keep quiet.
She opened the wrong packet given by pharmacy to find many tablets in different sizes and colours.She coolly gave these along with water when he opened his mouth. She didn’t know whether it would affect him or not but was sure they were not the right medicines for curing him. She loathed him so much that she cared little for him.Soon he was drowsy with his eyelids feeling heavy. He could not sit up for his dinner. She gave him the gruel with some more of the wrong medicines. The next day morning he tried to get up from the bed but could not stand as his legs were wobbly and weak. It appeared to him that the muscles had lost their strength. He became disoriented and unable to focus. He was totally bed ridden. She continued with the wrong medicine till he lost his ability to walk but she did not leave him though she could have .
After a week when she brought the doctor and showed his condition without telling about the wrong medication, the doctor prescribed another set of medicines. This time she gave the right ones but while he recovered from all ailments, he could not gain his ability to walk. He was confined to bed and chair It was one evening she came along with Murugan and handed over him her divorce papers. She told him “Your filthy mind will assume all sorts of wrong ideas about my relationship with this young man. He is like my elder brother who has helped me get out of this wretched place. You broke my leg out of your suspicion and inability to keep your wife happy. As a retribution, you will suffer all through your life” As he lay dumbfounded,she limped out happily released from bondage once and for all.
.

A love affair

Vijay had promised to take Naveen and Neeraja to the beach on Sunday evening. He had just spoken to Manjula about the programme.He requested her to join them. He wanted her in particular to come to his home for lunch. The phone rang. It was Naveen reminding about the beach visit.” Naveen, I haven’t forgotten. I have already asked Manju to join us and she had agreed Inform Neerja.”.
Vijay had lost his wife three years ago to a brain tumour.It was tough period managing the children and more than that he missed his wife. The solitude despite the children was too much for him. He had not thought of another woman in his wife’s place till he met Manjula in a seminar. They were paired for panel discussions providing those opportunities to spend the entire two days together. Vijay was no longer the same sullen person.Manjula was a whiff of fresh air that he longed for in his life. .She was also a single. They contrived reasons to meet each other daily on some pretext or the other. Both were deeply in love with each other. The kids liked Manju and her easy ways in getting along with them. She invariably brought things to eat and knickknacks. She took particular interest in winning the confidence of the young girl.
“Naveen, take your shoes off and give them to me. It is easy to run without the shoes.Neerja, you also run along with him. Do not go near the water till we come” said Vijay as they walked on the sands of the beach.
Neerja lingered and pleaded “Aunty, you please come with us. I am afraid of the waves. Will a Tsunami come?”
Manjula told her “Do not be afraid. The waves will not come near you as you will be far away from the water. No more Tsunami. Go with Naveen.I will come behind with your dad.”
As the girl ran behind the boy, Vijay held Manju’s hand and walked slowly side by side rubbing shoulders.
Vijay broke the silence and said, “I have not broached the subject of our marriage. I get a feeling both of them know that we are fond of each other though they have not yet visualized you in their mom’s place. I do not envisage any problem at all from Naveen and hopefully from Neerja.”
“Vijay, I wish that we tie the knot soon. I cannot be away from you and want to be with you all the time. Please hurry” pleaded Manjula
“Sure, it is vacation for them I will talk to them this weekend. Do not worry” said Vijay
They then spent time standing in the water for the waves to wash their legs.Neerja snuggled by Manju’s side and found comfort and security in her hands
Two days later as he was working on his laptop in the night both the kids snuggled up to him and said “Daddy, we have a request. We wish to celebrate Mother’s day this Sunday at 6pm. We have pooled our allowances and we intend to buy a cake from the Italian bakery. We want to have it cut before our mom’s photo. Please invite Manjula aunty also for this occasion. make sure she attends.”
Vijay was surprised and wanted to play along with his children by readily agreeing to their request. It was Sunday and the large box containing the cake and tied with ribbon was kept on the circular glass dining table. Opposite on the wall was their mom’s photo.Manjula had also come as promised.
Naveen and Neerja in chorus said, “We will blind fold aunty and dad. They will open the cake box and only then the blindfold would be removed.”
Both Manjula and Vijay were intrigued but joined the fun by getting their eyes covered by a red cloth. When they opened their eyes amidst the clapping by the kids, they were thrilled to read the icing text/
Dear Manju mom,
Happy Mother’s day,
Naveen and Neerja
Manju wiped the moist eyes even as Neerja pulled her close to Vijay and placed her hand on Vijay’s.

Happy Mother's Day

To all mothers

Happy Mother's Day

Mother's Day comes but once a year on the officially designated 2nd Sunday in May but in the hearts of many - every day is Mother's Day

Being a mother not only takes time,but also requires generous amounts of faith and courage

An internet romance

Anita had a blog and posted daily her stray thoughts, happenings around, some nice quotes and even small verses she composed. She used to spend an hour daily in the night on the blog. She loved the comments left behind by the visitors. She wrote to a few who she felt had a special word for her. Gradually her circle of friends expanded leading to exchange of mails. She never dreamt that she would meet Arjun through this medium. She liked his camaraderie with his remark “Anita dear, your blog is superb. Lucky that I stumbled on it and hope to build a great friendship.” What began as posting of comments on each other’s blog blossomed into a torrent of emails and online chats. It was no longer an hour in the night before her desktop but spread throughout the day. Anita learnt that he was a young unmarried engineer around 28 working in a big IT company drawing handsome salary.Arjun came to know from her that she was a Chartered Accountant working in a MNC and came from a well to do business family. Though they chatted online daily Anita did not agree to use of webcam. Cupid worked overtime and they were madly in love with each other.
What were flirtatious chats soon turned into passionate expressions of love sick couple. She could not get him off her mind. He had been suggesting for the last two months that they should meet which Anita was avoiding. He had sent a mail in the evening that he can no longer wait and that both must meet to carry their relationship to logical end. He had said categorically that he would not accept a no from her. She tossed and turned in her bed all night with fantasies of being his wife in his bed. Her determination yielded to her burning desire to meet and hug him. She agreed to meet him at a restaurant at 4pm near her office. It was not a crowded place and he had informed her that he had reserved the corner table at the rear by the side of a large French window..She was both excited and nervous about the outcome. They haven’t seen each other and had mental expectations of a pleasant face and figure.
When she went sharp at4pm and was led to the table, she was surprised at the bouquet of red roses on the table. He was no there. She was very much impressed at his thoughtfulness. She sat there waiting for him. It was 4.10pm.He was still not there. Luckily as she had a call on her mobile from her mom, she did not notice the delay. Within a few moments, a tall handsome man came and introduced himself as Arjun.She was very much impressed though he looked older in his early thirties but was much more than her expectations.Arjun too never expected such a beautiful young lady, tall and slim with bobbed hair in a jeans and Tshirt. He extended his hand and they shook warmly for a long time unaware of the amused stares from the adjacent tables. As he sat down he said” Wow, I must have seen a fox early in the morning to be lucky to meet such a ravishing beauty like you.Hey, what do you think of me? Am I presentable and do I kindle romantic interest in me?” She liked his affable ways and the easy familiarity displayed. She replied “Why, you are the hunk most women would fall for” and giggled.
They ordered two large lassi and paper masala ghee roast. He held her hands tightly as desire surged through him with the thought that she will be his in a few days. He whispered softly “I love you. Will you marry me?”Anita who was nervous initially had a rush of confidence and thrill as she heard him propose. She could not take her eyes off him as she said “I will broach this matter to my parents. I am certain they would be pleased.”
It was then a woman of around fifty with a boy of twelve and a younger girl materialized before them as they came out of the wash room. The woman came straight to Arjun and put her hand on his shoulders as she asked “Chellappa, what are you doing here? Where are your wife and children? Is this lady your colleague?” Arjun sat stupefied and stunned as if he had been hit by a sledge hammer. The boy snuggled close to him saying “Mama, you promised to get me a cricket bat. You have forgotten” The little girl asked the woman “Who is this aunty?”
Anita shocked at the new development stood up and said in uncontrollable anger “You cheater.Fie on you. If you ever contact me again, bear in mind that I will call the police” as she stomped out in anger

Justice done

Lalitha and Sindhu were great friends. It was only three years since Sindhu had moved into this posh complex.Lalitha was in the floor just above hers. Their friendship began in the lift when it broke down once for a few minutes when they were alone in it together. Lalitha had no child though she was in her mid thirties. She worked as a teacher in a prestigious school. Her husband, she had said, worked as a consultant and not infrequently worked from home. They looked decent. Lalitha spoke less but was a good listener. She was god fearing, soft spoken, compassionate and had strong value system being a teacher.Sindhu on the other hand was bubbly in nature, loquacious and loved to talk on all subjects and liked making new friends. They were so different yet they liked each other. They became very close sharing all personal, went together daily for walk in the complex in the evenings and spent the free time chatting.
They had a common day time servant, a middle aged woman, till recently. But she left the work in Lalitha’s house without giving any reasons but continued with Sindhu.All the attempts by Lalitha to ascertain the reason for her refusal did not succeed. Even Sindhu tried but the woman did not budge. It was then Lalitha got a thirteen year Manju to work full time from morning 6am to 6pm. Manju was a hardworking sprightly girl and soon earned the confidence and affection of Lalitha. She got her new dresses, a pair of slippers and some tinsels. The girl helped her do all jobs though Lalitha did the cooking herself. She left the house in her care even when her husband was not at home.
It was one afternoon around 2pm Sindhu relaxed in her bed after the daily chores with an unfinished novel in hand. It was then she heard loud knocks repeatedly at her door. She rushed and opened the doors and was shocked to see Manju crying hoarsely and attempting to push past her to enter the flat. She said “Amma, let me in immediately and close the door.”Even as she let her in and was closing the door, she heard the noise of someone climbing down the stairs from the floor above. Sindhu asked her,” My God,Why what happened? Why are your clothes torn and hair disheveled? Tell me why you are crying? Did you open the door for anyone and did anyone harass you?”
She said “No, I did not open the door” and went on sobbing inconsolably without talking.Sindhu inquired ”Who is there in the house presently? Have you left the door open?” She mumbled “Uncle is there” and cried more.Sindhu thought something untoward must have happened and asked her “Do not fear. I am like your elder sister or mom. Tell me what happened. Why are your clothes torn and crumpled and your hair disturbed? Tell me the truth. Did anyone try to harm you?”
When she continued to keep quiet, Sindhu said “Unless you tell what happened clearly, people will think you were also a party to the incident. It is safe to confide in me.’ This did the trick.
The girl said”I am afraid, amma.Uncle tried to molest me. One week earlier, when he tried to touch my cheeks and pull me towards him, I told Lalitha amma.After talking to her husband, she told me that he was just patting me for being a good girl and that I should not talk disrespectfully like that. Ever since I was afraid to stay at home alone when he was there. But he came stealthily behind me today, closed my mouth with his hand and took me to the air-conditioned bed room and tried to force himself on me. My shouts were not heard as the windows and doors were closed. He almost succeeded in his wretched act, when I found the table lamp by my side. I hit him hard on his head and when he released his hands from me for a moment I came running to you. Please help me. I do not want to go into that house again.”
When Sindhu asked her whether any damage had been done, she replied that she could luckily extricate at the very last moment.Sindhu was in a fix as she had to act quickly. She was for a moment torn between two minds-her friendship to Lalitha and justice to this hapless girl. May be she may lose the friendship for ever but that did not deter her from rushing the girl to the nearest nursing home. She had the girl examined for attempted rape. The doctor found enough evidence with scratches and other clues of an attempt at criminal assault. The doctor advised a day’s rest for the girl for the shock and trauma the girl had suffered and gave her a sedative to sleep. She called the police inspector and gave him the details and about their presence in the nursing home. Soon Lalitha’s husband was taken into custody for questioning along with doctor’s report.
Sindhu dared not meet Lalitha. In the evening when Sindhu was sitting dejected at the unfortunate happening and thinking of the impact it would have had on Lalitha, she heard a knock. When she opened the door, she found Lalitha standing with a grim face. She sat on the sofa and said “Sindhu, do not be worried. I would have done the same thing as you did.. He was a scoundrel and I had warned him to keep his dirty hands off the girl when he tried his mischief. I am at fault. I should not have left Manju alone with this wolf. It serves him right. I am glad that nothing untoward has happened to Manju and she could escape in the last moment. He had to have his head stitched. I feel the earlier servant left for this reason only. Sindhu, I am proud of your acting in the right way to render justice to the young girl uninfluenced by our friendship. Trust me, you will remain my friend forever.”
Kpartha12@hotmail.com