Wednesday, June 26, 2024

You won (884 words)

I like this story of mine  and the main character in it I hope you find it engaging.I would be delighted to see your reaction!

Mahalingam was sitting on the steps of the temple tank. He did this most evenings to find a secluded spot for himself. There was always a cool breeze at this place. Generally, except for a stray few like him, most people got down the steps to wash their feet before entering the temple. Maha rarely went inside the temple, save for rare occasions. He was neither an atheist nor devout. He was over 80 and had lost his wife a decade ago. He lived with his son, Dandapani, who was affectionate towards him but never demonstrated it except when alone. Dandu, as Maha endearingly called him, maintained a diplomatic balance between his wife and father.

Maha had a drawback in speaking whatever came to his mind and was often tactless. This frequently brought him into conflict with his daughter-in-law and grandchildren. They hardly spoke to him and pretended not to hear when he called. Luckily, he had good health and could manage his chores himself. He spent time reading the dailies from cover to cover and reading books he brought from the local municipal library.

It was one evening when the sky was overcast, though there was no indication of rain. The tank was almost empty except for the silhouette of someone bathing on the opposite side. When Maha turned towards the southern side, he found a hazy figure in dark clothes standing a short distance away, watching him. Maha was eating with relish hot masala vada bought from a vendor at the entrance to the tank. He looked at the figure and called out, “Come here. Why are you staring at me? Sit by my side and have some vada.”

With a puzzled look, the black figure moved closer to him without saying anything.

“Why are you silent? I think I saw you yesterday too. Come closer. Why are you in dark clothes? Do you belong to any political outfit?” Maha asked in his exuberant style. When the figure came near, Maha offered him two vadas and asked him to sit by his side.

The figure shook its head to decline. It said in a gruff but peculiar voice, “You have only one more day.”

“One more day for what? You’re talking like a Yama dhuta,” Maha roared with laughter.

“Yes, one more day to live. You will follow me then. Your guess is correct.”

“You don’t seem like one. I thought they were dark in complexion, bare-chested, and with scary faces without noses or mouths, or with wide mouths and protruding tongues or teeth. That is what my mother told me just a day before her death. You are not bare chested but have black clothes on. I haven’t heard that these emissaries of Yama talked to their victims, announcing the dates of departure. Either you are a nut or a knave,” Maha said laughingly.

Smiling for the first time, it said, “You seem a jolly old fellow and are not scared. Though I don’t have to tell you, I took a liking for you and hence gave the news for you to make suitable arrangements before your final departure.”

“Ha, ha, ha! Don’t think I will fall for your ruse. Surely I bet you are a drama actor coming after rehearsal without changing costume, and maybe trying to get some money out of me. Show me some evidence that you are Yama’s messenger,” said Maha.

“Nothing like what you say. See this rope,” the figure said, dangling a long rope.

Maha was in splits. “Rope, you say! Ha-ha, showing a clothesline for a lifeline (pasa kayiru) and scaring me or what? I am in perfect health. Though past 80, my heart is strong, I walk long distances, digest all food, no complaints except fading vision. I don’t think I will die for another five years. Get lost and find some easy quarry,” he said.

“OK, can you see my legs? Watch whether I am standing on the floor or a foot above. This should set your doubts at rest,” said the figure.

“With my poor vision, I cannot verify the truth of what you say when it is dark. Get going and we can meet tomorrow evening here. But you will have some vadas with me,” said Maha as he got up to go home.

Maha didn’t tell his son Dandu, lest he gets worried. Maha saw it as a joke, though the next day, before he left for his evening jaunt to the temple tank, he kept all his things in his room clean and in an orderly manner.

He looked around for the dark figure as he munched the vadas. He was not to be seen, though Maha waited until 7 p.m. He heard the temple bell toll and left the place after folding his raised arms in the direction of the temple. He was in a happy mood as he walked into his house.

Just as he climbed the three steps, he tripped and fell. The sharp corner of the concrete step hit his forehead hard. As blood came out and he was losing consciousness, he turned his head to see the dark figure with the dangling rope smiling at him with a tinge of sadness. Maha wished to say, “You won,” but his life ebbed out by then.

 

31 comments:

  1. With heavy heart ……….. don’t know what to say

    Chitra

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  2. Very nice. Thanks. Ramakrishnan.

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  3. Good one. Expected! Thank you for sharing.

    I think you should have given your opinion about the character in the end and not at the beginning. For me it was influencing my thoughts and my approach became biased.

    Best wishes and warm regards
    Hemantha Kumar Pamarthy

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  4. I too read the story with a tinge of sadness. But, that seems to be the way of life. The loss of affection, the break up of the family unit!
    Janardhan N

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  5. A darker end. Please take care sir. Regards - Mahesh.

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  6. When we are leading normal lives, we think that death comes only to others! “Death is for sick, bed-ridden people… something for others to think about .”
    And death seems like an eternity away. Do we ever imagine that there is a grave waiting for each and every one of us out there?!! :-)

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  7. Eerie encounter 😁

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  8. Maha was so cool with the yamadutta who gave him a heads up about his
    exit from the world. It makes me wonder how each one faces this absolute
    truth. The story did make me think and also enjoy Maha's ' will face anything that comes my way' attitude. Interesting read Chitappa
    Subha

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  9. Death is the greatest truth, though we may not accept it out of delusion. The Time, Place and cause of Death are pre-determined, and nothing can evade it. While most of the people perceive this call in the last moment, a few blessed ones get the hint in advance (are served the notice period of expiry).

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  10. Whether a believer or a non-believer, a devotee or an agnostic, an accomplished seeker or a simpleton, conversation about death are a taboo to most of us. Here, Mahalingam have lived his life happily and ready to accept the inevitable though not expressed it outwardly. Expected a happy ending while asleep, but the story teller wanted a fall and to say "You Won", before his departure.

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  11. Great story telling. Maha's agnostic nature helped him live life normally in his last day until Yama arrived. Perhaps, it is better to live in the present and not know what the future holds. This way the masala vada can be relished much more. (jj)

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  12. While reading, I thought the soothsayer would be proved wrong. But alas, the story had a different ending, which some readers probably would have guessed right.
    The leave the soothsayer aside. The moral of the story is: Don't be so sure of what is in store for you in the future.

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  13. A wonderful story. Mahalingam has some audacity, imagine talking to such messengers is it due to his beliefs or over confidence. Well fate will always have the upper hand.

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  14. Hmmm....felt sad, reading the story. We have to leave this world when the time comes...Nothing can stop. good narration, Kp ....Sandhya

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  15. In complete agreement with what K P Sir mentioned in the prologue about the story and the main character.
    What a simple narration! What positivity till the end in the man towards life! What final words that remained unuttered!

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  16. Usually people let fear take over with the smallest sign. Maha did not let fear or sadness overshadow his joy and zest for living. Even at 80 he enjoyed his time at the temple step. He even took Yama duta’s warning asa joke or challenge when most people would have locked themselves in the room. Very nice story.

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  17. Good morning,
    Very nice story. What an imagination. Interesting. Good story and this one - stories from universe, unknown, interesting.

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  18. Nice, wishes to you

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  19. Interesting! Filled with positivity till the end. I was waiting for a twist in the tale but not having a twist is a twist in itself. Big fan of your writing, always:)

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  20. The important thing is that Maha spent his last day, smiling, happy and living (almost) as usual! I think he won!

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  21. Did not expect a suspense at the end and could guess the flow of thought. A well written essay as usual.. A narrative that shows how the premonition of death many a time for many a human is there.. most get affected by the fear . Here the brave old man was not scared to death, but laughed away wanting to prove wrong what was revealed to him. In a way I find this attitude removes all fears.. and the end comes as predicted but without causing panic to Maha. Rama Sampath Kumar

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  22. Moral of the story: fear neither death nor god, everything happens in good time

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  23. A very interesting story indeed! I am, So to say, a half-believer! In any case I liked the character Maha.
    👌👌🙏🙏

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  24. Yikesssss...!!!! Was hoping Maha would outwit him.

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  25. Alas, a tragedy, felt that there was something coming in as a surprise for the reader!

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  26. very different as compared to your other stories, which have a positive end with a twist of good fortune! Maha's characterisation stands out, positive attitude and he did not panic on learning about his immediate end
    -P.Chinnaraj

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  27. Life well lived on own terms..that's the spirit

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  28. What a jolly good fellow, as the yamadoota says! Loved his characterisation. The subtle mix of reality and fantasy added to the charm of the story.

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  29. Sukumar NarasimhanJuly 27, 2024 at 10:02 PM

    Lovely, Chittappa. That you chose presincts of a temple to narrate the story makes it that much more special. I'll try to emulate Maha!

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  30. Lovely story. A little sad though. Maha was happy till the end. He won the battle called LIFE. This story just goes to show how unpredictable life can be. With so much of uncertainty, we need to just remain happy whatever the situation may be remembering in mind THAT THIS TOO WILL PASS.

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