Power of love

“Ashwin never listens to me.He is always defiant and backchats whatever I tell him.I even wonder whether he is fond of his mom” lamented Sulakshana of his nine year old son to me.

Knowing her good nature I said “Don’t be foolish.I know he loves you very much.Only some children are not demonstrative.”

“You don’t know Partha. Do not try to make things easy for me.He is a difficult child not the usual kids we come across. I am worried very much whether he will grow up to be a good man.I have tried all strategies sama dhhana bedha dhanda but there has been no effect.My husband is clueless”

“Tell me a little more in detail in what manner he irks you” I asked.

“His school bus comes at 8am and he should be at the bus stop at 7.55am.He does not get up even at 7.15 and throws up tantrum when he is woken up.His sister Sweta gets up at 6.30 am without any prompting and gets fully ready by 7.30am.He goes into bathroom and takes bath under the shower till 730 or even a little longer.He will then start searching for his books writing instuments all over.Some days he will start crying that he had not completed the home work.He will not drink the milk or have his breakfast.He picks a quarrel with his sister when she urges him to start telling it is getting late.By the time he leaves the home, he leaves me a nervous wreck short of crying.This is the same scenario daily” complained Sulakshana.

“It is all right.Tell me what happens after he returns home” I prodded

“He would not change his dress for a long time, will throw the shoes and socks in the living room,switch on the TV at high volume watching cartoon network.He would not have his food and in an hour insist on going out to play.If I refuse telling that he must finish his homework beforehand, he will shout, call me names, break things acting crankily.He is always irritable and in bad temper.I am tired Partha.I just don’t know what to do.I even wish he were not born” bewailed my friend.

“Answer me just one question truthfully.When he behaved like this, were you always stern and fault finding? Did you try any method other than nagging and shouting back? I agree making them do things the way we want can be frustrating.It is not that he is acting this way just to make you miserable.I don’t think so.There are other ways to tackle this problem” I said

“It is easy for you to talk like this.Try one day managing him.You will never come to my place again” Sulakshana said with a wry smile.

“Have you ever hugged him when he came back from school to you at the living room without looking at his legs whether shoes are there or not? Did you not always shout at him to go and keep the shoes at the appointed place?Have you ever made him sit by your side and asked him about the games he played in school before thrusting his lunch before him?Did you ever discuss the cartoons he liked and the characters who were his favourites?Have you played any game with him like monopoly or board games?Did you ever talk to him about his playmates and who won how many times?Tell me frankly whether you have discussed any subject of his liking with him without bringing up home work, proper manners, the stain on his shirt or the ink marks on his fingers or comparisons with Sweta?” I asked her

“Yes, I agree.I have always been fault finding though I love him most and wished to hug him” confessed Sulakshsna.
“You said he doesn’t love you.OK from today just for two days stop blaming him, whatever he does.Find out whether you find any instances of his loving you or showing concern for you.Tell me day after tomorrow.We will pursue the matter thereafter”I suggested.

It was the third day when I got a call from Sulakhsna.”Partha, won’t you come here? Your trick worked magic.Ashwin is an awesome boy.The mistake was all in me.You opened my eyes”she went on talking.

“Tell me what happened” I asked

“The day after you came last I didn’t wake him up.He got up very late and found his sister had left.He missed the bus and pleaded with me to drop him in the school.Without one murmur I dropped him.When he got down he said ‘I am sorry, mom.. I should have got up early.I cannot also ask you why didn’t wake me up after the daily fights I cause.Amma, please excuse me.’ I hugged him and said it was alright and that I was happy he realised his mistake.
When he returned from school, he took his shoes and kept them in the shoe rack. Before he came to me he had changed his dress and put the uniform in the washing machine. I hugged him, smothered him with kisses and asked him how his day in the school was.I listened to him with rapt attention of what he said..He was surprised when I told him that I have made his favourite pasta for him. When I gave him the bowl he asked “Amma, can I please watch the cartoon?” I was so thrilled and wondered what brought about the metamorphosis.”

“

“Good, I am glad the idea worked” I said

“Wait, I haven’t finished” she said joyfully.When I got up hurriedly to go back to the kitchen ,I hurt my leg badly on the sofa.It pained me much and as I was lying in pain, he rushed to first floor and brought relief spray.With his soft hand as he massaged,my leg he said “Amma, Does it hurt? I love you sky high.I will be with you today and not going out for playing”

Sulakshana had learnt the power of love and the magic it can do.She prided herself at her ability to win the affection of her son and make him the most lovable boy.