Friday, July 19, 2024

An unexpected visitor (666 words)

 

"Deepa’s parents had been busy since morning, preparing the house for a visit. The maid had spruced up the place, changing curtains and sofa covers, vacuuming the carpet, and wiping the photo frames. Her dad brought fresh flowers, while her mom bustled in the kitchen making sweets and snacks. They had also bought some Bengali sweets from a nearby stall. One of the prospective bridegroom’s parents had informed them they would arrive after 3 PM to see Deepa.

"Deepa took the day off work, starting her morning with a relaxing facial at the beauty parlour. After a refreshing shower, she carefully draped herself in a delicate, saffron silk sari, adorning herself with matching jewellery, her heart fluttering with anticipation.

"When it was nearing three, her dad sprayed lavender air freshener in the hall. The aroma of a sandalwood incense stick wafted from the puja room, mingling with the fragrance of jasmine in the air.

There was a short, hesitant buzz at the door. Her dad rushed to open it and found a young man in a blue-striped shirt and charcoal grey pants. He looked tall, handsome, and muscular. He smiled and asked, “Is this Deepa’s place?”

“Yes, yes, please come in and be seated. We were actually waiting for you. Has no one else come with you?” The hall was cool with the air conditioner humming.

“No, it is enough if I meet her. I should have come half an hour earlier but was held up in a meeting,” he said with a smile. Deepa, peeping through a small opening in a window from the adjacent room, noticed his well-aligned sparkling teeth. A cute-looking guy, she thought with some satisfaction.

“I hope you had no difficulty locating the house,” asked Deepa’s dad.

“Not at all. It took just 30 minutes to drive from my office. The ambiance here is good. A bright but cool home you have in sylvan surroundings,” he said.

“Yes, I bought it ten years back,” he replied as Deepa’s mom brought a plate full of snacks and sweets.

“Why all these? Where is Deepa?” the young man asked.

“It is customary. Please have some,” Deepa’s dad said, turning to his wife. “Where is Deepa? Ask her to come. You also come here.”

Deepa came demurely, accompanied by her mother. The young man stood up and folded his hands in greeting to both of them.

When they were seated, he said with a large smile, “Glad I could come today. In fact, I have wanted to see you ever since I heard about you. I could find time only today.”

After some pleasantries, Deepa’s dad stood up and said, “I will leave you alone so you can discuss matters of mutual interest.”

"Just then, Deepa’s dad heard a car pull up outside, the gate creaking open. He rushed to see an elderly couple in traditional attire stepping out, accompanied by a young man with a basket of fruits and flowers. Confusion and alarm crossed his face as he realized another young man was already inside, speaking with Deepa."

He rushed back in, where Deepa and the young man were warming up to each other, and asked, “Who are you, Sir? What brought you here? Why did you want to meet Deepa? I think there has been a mistake.”

“Yes, Sir, I was also wondering at the warm reception. I had a lead that Deepa was planning to take an insurance cover. I had come to meet Deepa regarding that. I am an officer in a multinational insurance company,” he said.

Meanwhile, the elderly couple entered the hall, accompanied by a short man with a pronounced paunch and a peculiar face.

"As Deepa hurriedly started leaving the hall, her face a mix of disappointment and bewilderment, the young man handed her his card with a charming smile. 'Please call me when you’re free, and we can discuss your needs,' he said, adding with a wink, 'Maybe over coffee?'".

"Surely," she said with a smile.

 

 

22 comments:

  1. Your stories with a twist, like this one, are particularly good!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Did Deepa reject the other guy just for his physical appearance alone ? Well, it is her life and her choice , I guess. 😊

    Chitra Solomon

    ReplyDelete
  3. Very nice story with an option for the readers to draw their own conclusions. To me it is quite obvious that they must have met at the coffee shop to discuss their respective needs.
    That is why it is said, "Marriages are made in Heaven".
    Regards

    ReplyDelete
  4. Nice story 🙏🙏

    ReplyDelete
  5. Excellent twist. Brought a smile in my face.

    ReplyDelete
  6. A very sweet short story with a pleasant suspense! Atin Biswas

    ReplyDelete
  7. Surely she would have married the insurance guy. Wish good luck to them.PK Ramachandran

    ReplyDelete
  8. Sort of guessed that the first guest to arrive was not the one the family was expecting.. probably knowing your style made me realise this. A well thought out narrative certainly … and I like the end as it leaves the reader guessing the final outcome!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Nice twist ramakrishnan.a.

    ReplyDelete
  10. A good one. I loved the narrative. Hopefully Deepa made the right choice. Keep posting

    ReplyDelete
  11. Nice story....It must have been difficult for the parents to send back the other groom's family....Sandhya

    ReplyDelete
  12. The caravan keeps moving on at its own sweet pace!
    However, the very title 'An unexpected visitor' tells it, at least by some degree!
    Just a small idea, if I may! Wouldn't a simple title like 'The visitor' have kept the surprise element under the wraps till the end in a better way!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Ha ha! I Wonder if the prospective groom at least had his share of ‘bajji-sojji’ 😃

    ReplyDelete
  14. Ha ha :) Loved the twist. Curious to know what happens next ;)

    ReplyDelete
  15. In today' s Dinamalar daily newspaper there is a story close to this story. The boy for whom elder of two daughters was chosen attended formality of 'girl seeing 'with usual sojji bajji (sweetmeats). Later Boy's parents informed girl's parents the boy would prefer to marry the younger daughter. This put girls parents and the sisters in an embarassing situation. The elder daughter was wearing a saree in a traditional style and the younger one was in salwar kameez,both equal in good looks otherwise.
    While they were debating how to reply to boy's parents,two girls visited a nearby temple. The boy too was there per chance and enquired about the acceptance of his proposal to marry the younger sister. The younger sister spontaneously replied that she too was attracted by his companion rather himself.
    Now you can imagine what reply girls parents would have conveyed to the boy's parents.
    Jagadeesan

    ReplyDelete
  16. Can we assume that Deepa took the insurance cover as well became a partner for life over the cup of coffee, of course convincing her parents!
    Liked the twist in the story, leaving us guess and ponder.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I liked the story. The wink in the end was the highlight. Destiny will tell us what happened to Deepa!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Subhashini SukumarJuly 25, 2024 at 5:14 PM

    Nice twist to the story

    ReplyDelete
  19. Now waiting for the sequel to this story with more twists and turns!!

    ReplyDelete
  20. என்னங்க நடக்குதிங்கே?😃😎

    Best wishes and warm regards
    Hemantha Kumar Pamarthy

    ReplyDelete
  21. Very interesting. Amazing the way you write the stories. I would think that Deepa would convince her parents and not just take the insurance cover but also take him as her life partner. You are a rockstar!!! Keep writing and we will keep reading.

    ReplyDelete