Wednesday, July 17, 2024

The stranger’s twitch at the park (600 words))

The park was a pleasant escape, but the stranger on the bench beside me brought an air of unease that I couldn't ignore. The sun was setting and it was slowly getting dark. I was watching a few children play, their laughter mingling with the noise of the traffic on the road, when I noticed him staring at me.

"Sir, if you can spare me some time, I wish to clear a matter of doubt," he said, his grin somewhat unsettling. "I will not take much of your time."

As I had nothing pressing to do, I nodded. "Sure, go ahead."

"Don’t I look like a normal person? People, however, look at me as if I am slightly insane. Even at my office, they terminated my services without any reason. They told my wife the job was open when I became 'normal' again. But I am normal. Can a normal person become normal again, looks funny, isn’t it, Sir?"

His story trickled out, disjointed initially and strange. He was dressed well and spoke fluently, yet his words painted a different picture.

"My wife is beautiful," he continued. "When we walk in the park, everyone stares at her. After they overtake us, the men turn their heads to catch a glimpse of her again. It makes me uneasy and I stare at them or make faces. She says I'm being paranoid, but I'm only protecting her. Am I wrong to get upset if someone looks at her with bad intentions?"

He paused, eyes boring into me, waiting for my response. I nodded for him to continue, feeling a growing unease.

"There were two incidents recently, I must tell you There's a dog in our colony that barks at me always. Strangely it does not bark at others even vendors, delivery boys and strangers. The other day, it wouldn’t stop barking at me, so I threw a stone at it. The stone possibly hit it on the head and the dog died. The neighbours were furious and swearing to complain to the authorities. My wife cried all night. In retrospect, I also felt bad but I could not contain my anger then. This was, however, a small matter compared to what happened today. Are you listening?" he asked with some doubt.

His voice grew softer when I nodded, eyes darting around as if checking for eavesdroppers. "Today, I saw the colony treasurer, my neighbour, talking to my wife in the drawing room. She was laughing, but when I entered, both stopped. I could guess he was interested in her. I felt something take over me. My wife says my left eye twitches when it happens. I blocked his way and accused him of lustful intentions. When he vehemently protested, I hit him with a stool. He escaped with a minor injury. The neighbours were angry and overpowered me, and now they want me out of the colony. My wife was crying again. I became calm again and came here."

He looked at me expectantly and asked “Am I not normal and react like what others would in similar circumstances?"

It was getting dark, and the park was nearly empty. I felt a chill as his left eye began to twitch rather frequently. "I think you are normal nevertheless you should see a doctor soon," I said, standing up quickly.

As his twitching intensified and he looked around for something, I backed away. Fear gripped me, and I ran as fast as possible with the man approaching fast behind me. The disquieting encounter lingered in my mind long after I reached my apartment.

( Readers who post anonymously may leave their names under the comment)

26 comments:

  1. Amazed at the variety and range of your ideas, as well as the simplicity of the stories - like this one!

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  2. Chilling encounter. Good that he was able to escape before becoming a victim of an insane man! Very crisp narration KP!

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  3. You have crafted well a chilling encounter by building up tension by portraying the conversation with an unsettling stranger. The stranger's erratic behavior and the disturbing confessions are actually a bit scary!

    (My latest post: UK Tour 07 - The Holy Island of Lindisfarne

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  4. Gripping till the end. But in the end I felt it was a bit comical though!🙂

    Thank you for sharing.

    Best wishes and warm regards
    Hemantha Kumar Pamarthy

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  5. I think you observe people around you very well and that is reflected on the stories that you write. Few characters - simple knots - good twists - very short stories - are good enough to keep the readers gel in with the gist of your stories. Great writing skill !

    Take care
    Chitra Solomon

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  6. Created a distinct unease in the mind of the reader right at the beginning.
    The story is so artfully woven that the unease never 'eased out'!

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  7. Enjoyed the story!

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  8. The suspenseful journey you take the readers on is really gripping! The character is intriguingly abnormal.

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  9. Lovely creation that brings out perspective of other spectrum

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  10. New theme, new story, thrilling till the end. External appearance is deceptive quite often. The true inner self automatically gets exhibited through our behaviour howsoever one may try to suppress it. Regards Sir

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  11. A chilling story so vividly narrated. Love the way you depict the characters and the situation. I think you just escaped the consequence of his eye twitching..

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  12. Indira ParthasarathyJuly 18, 2024 at 1:31 AM

    A nice.story with a small twist.

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  13. Tensed up while reading...Your narration is too good! Thank God he reached home safely! Good story!.....Sandhya

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  14. Shivaji Ganesan Jayalalitha in Bommai
    Sanjeevkumar Mumtaj in Khilona
    Both male actors revealed symptom of eye twitching before their misdeeds followed by remorse for their act.
    Main bhi Pagal,Thu bhi Pagal,Saari duniya hai Pagal
    Jagadeesan

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  15. A dangerous situation indeed to be confronted by a stranger in a lonely park... No easy way to escape his clutches...

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  16. Enjoyed the story.thanks. ramakrishnan.

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  17. Some husbands behave like this especially when their wives are beautiful. A Malayalam movie “vadakkunokhi yantram “ reminds me of the jealous and suspicious husband. Sir if time permits please see for real time pass. P k Ramachandran

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  18. Subhashini SukumarJuly 18, 2024 at 4:11 PM

    Superb.
    Hats off to the person who was listening and as he saw the left eye of the guy twitching , started running .👏👏

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  19. The strange behavior and disturbing confessions at the first meeting itself speaks well of the insane mind of the stranger in the lonely area of the Park.
    Good that he could escape from an uneasy situation, is the twist and positive narrative of this beautiful story.

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  20. Gripping. Lot of mentally retarded people in the world. We have to be careful.

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  21. Beautifully written.like the unresolved endings. (JJ)

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  22. We’ve been taught to believe a large percentage of the population is “normal.”There's nothing wrong with being a little weird. Had our hero assessed the degree of “normal” of this weirdo, he wouldn’t have lent his ear in the first place:-))

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  23. Interesting episode.. did not expect the end but yes that’s how a person in normal situations tend to get a shock! Sob stories many a time tend to be to get the sympathy of the listener and then strike them when the iron is hot! There are such guys who are probably bipolar? Rama Sampath Kumar

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  24. A story with a different taste! Perhaps most of us are not 'normal' though we tend to behave as 'normal'. This so called 'normal' person can easily become 'eccentric' under pressure of circumstances. I have sympathy for this person and would have liked his neighbours to be more understanding and persuade him to consult a psychiatrist. Atin Biswas

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  25. Wow. Amazed beyond words. :)

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  26. Loved the story. Not too sure if he is really insane. But it was scary though. Will someone be so open to confess? Bringing out different emotions actually show that you observe different characters so well. Otherwise it is difficult to bring this beautiful flow. Keep rocking and we will keep reading.

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